NT Scan

Although more recently an NT scan has started to be offered to anyone, traditionally, the scan was reserved for either high risk patients with a genetic history of abnormalities, or for women over the age of 35 who were pregnant. With Lyla, we were at a regular obgyn and I was never offered that scan, being that it was a regular doctor, and I was pregnant with my first child at the age of 22. We also only had one early ultrasound to date the pregnancy, and I never had another one until our anatomy scan at 20 weeks. Because of those things, we never knew Lyla was sick until half way through our pregnancy. If I were offered a Nuchal Translucency scan at 12 weeks... We would have found out then, and would not have gone 2 more months believing our baby was okay.
With Harlow our pregnancy started at Maternal Fetal Medicine, and with Lyla's triploidy case, the NT scan, as well as other testing, was not only offered, but encouraged. I was so scared and anxious starting that pregnancy, that to me, a scan that only gave risks, was not going to bring me any comfort. We just came off of a medical whirlwind where we were told our daughter had 1:2 chance of having trisomy 18 (which I discovered at our previous doctors office, meant she HAD trisomy 18). Were transferred to UAB, where we were educated and our hearts were encouraged and protected... Did the amniocentesis, and it turned out she didn't even have that. She did however, have triploidy. It's all a numbers game with many false positives. Many chances to be scared to death that your child is sick and have them turn out fine. Or be scared your child has one thing, and it turns out to be another. The only 2 tests that actually give you answers and give you your child's genetic makeup is a cvs test or an amnio. All other 'tests' and screenings just give you numbers and risks on a board.
Because of my fears and anxiety, as well as knowing we were in good hands and would be getting a lot of ultrasounds at a hospital with the best machines, I found comfort in knowing that if anything were wrong, we would catch it on an ultrasound and handle it just like we did with Lyla- carry our baby and do whatever we could to give our baby the best change at life. I didn't need the stress of non-diagnostic tests and screenings.
This time around.... I was singing a different tune and surprised myself by actually considering doing the NT scan. I had felt off this pregnancy, which scared me because I felt 'off' with Lyla. I never said anything, but revealed those feelings after we found out she was sick. I told Adam before our first appointment with #3, that I felt 'off' and it was one of those feelings where if something were wrong, you'd look back and say 'I knew it' or 'I had a feeling'. Feeling that way, scared me and I didn't know what to do with those emotions. Part of me was convinced something was wrong or off based on my current feelings, and flashbacks to Lyla's pregnancy. And part of me convinced myself that it's just because I haven't thought about this baby all that much due to our crazy life and the busyness that comes with having a baby. Maybe part of those feelings were guilt for not letting this pregnancy occupy 100% of my mind like my previous pregnancies. But I needed to give myself a break and realize no pregnancy is ever going to be like your first, or in my case, the second as well. Experiencing additional pregnancies is still the glorious experience that it is, just completely different in its own right.
After talking to Adam about those feelings and after comparing my thoughts regarding not finding out about Lyla's sickness until 20 weeks... I decided I wanted to do the NT scan. I called the doctor on a whim on a friday and made the appt for the very next Tuesday, hoping I wasn't making a mistake.
Going to our appointment that Tuesday, I was nervous but also really excited and for the first time really had all my thoughts dedicated to this little one. However there were some hard times that kind felt like some PTSD. I was given a from to fill out with some previous pregnancy and genetic history questions. I remember filling out that same form when we were transferred there in hopes of figuring out what was wrong with Lyla. I flashed back to that moment and had a wave of nausea. We were taken back to what I that was going to be an ultrasound room... But it was the tiny genetics screening room where we sat down to watch a video regarding what they were going to be doing and what they were testing for. That same room we sat while watching a video for our target ultrasound and amniocentesis with Lyla. Afterwards we opened the door like we had done before and were guided to a consulting room. That same room where we were told all about Lyla's condition. I felt kind of dizzy throughout that experience which I didn't expect as well. This coming from the same person who wished I delivered Harlow in the same room as Lyla, instead of in the room next door. I've been handling everything so well and just absorbing everything with a grateful heart, that I was surprised the lead up to the NT scan would affect me so much.
We started the scan and got good news after good news. I asked if they could do a mini anatomy scan while they were measuring the fluid and they checked all they could. Many things they couldn't check for yet, but they did all they could and everything looked great so far.
This little one was tapping its foot like it was listening to music, and waved a few times. Also bucked around on its back just like I remember Harlow doing :) I left that appointment feeling reassured and calmer than before. It was exactly what I needed. Thank you Jesus for laying it on my heart to get the scan!