Return To Zero

Today is our sweet Lyla's 2nd Birthday! As you all know, she was our first baby who was born still at 32 weeks. The days and weeks after her passing, and really since hearing about her fatal diagnosis, made us wonder, question, and worry about our future of being parents. Would we ever conceive again? Would we ever have a baby that we could bring home with us? We had no clue what the future held... And that was scary.

Those days and weeks after she was born, were surreal and lonely. We were a family of 3... And now, we were back to 0. We were parents... But to strangers on the outside, it didnt look like it. We were back to having empty arms. 

Sean Hanish and his wife created and produced a film based on their experiences with losing their child... And through so much hard work and donations, they were able to get some awesome actors on board to film it and they've officially wrapped up the film: Return to Zero. 

However, it's still a journey to get this movie into theaters. The mainstream public and media, think there is no real audience to see a movie whose entire theme, revolves around stillbirth. Sounds depressing right? Who would want to see a movie all about a couple whose child is stillborn? It explains perfectly the way society regardes and 'handles' the death of a child, like I am always writing about. But we are here to break the silence and speak of stillbirth and neonatal death, and how it impacts or relationships with those around us, as well as how we perceive life and love.

The next step to get this movie into theaters, is to get as many pledges as we can to just say that they WILL see a movie like this in theaters- that there IS an audience for a film that is finally a depiction of REAL LIFE for many baby loss families. This film will be going to multiple film festivals soon and it is there, as well as showing how many pledges we have, that we are praying this film gets picked up and pushed into theatres, instead of pushed to the wayside. 

It would mean so much to the baby loss community, for a film like this to make it into theatres and BREAK THE SILENCE about stillbirth and baby loss. 

Please, if you are interested and want to help, fill out this pledge form and put Laura Epperson as your local leader! This requires nothing on your part, but to help support an amazing cause and amazing film by just giving your word that you are interested in seeing this movie!

Please help us break the silence! 

Pledge Form

Great Meaning In Simplicity

"Ernest Hemingway was given a challenge to write a complete story in under 10 words. Hemingway, known for his brevity, was able to do it in 6...

For sale: Baby Shoes... Never Worn."

How simply profound. Six words, that explain SO much. 

Photo by Amanda Ryan Lucas

"I Do Not Hide My Grief, As I Do Not Hide My Love"

I have written about this before. About how some people get so incredibly uncomfortable whenever I speak Lyla's name... Like they don't know what to say or how to respond. It's obvious from the frequency that I speak of her, that I am comfortable in my grief... And I wish others would find that same comfortability and open their eyes to reality.

Whenever these moments happen, I feel a few different feelings stir up inside me, and it's different almost every time. Sometimes I feel mad, and want to continue speaking about her, and make the person as uncomfortable as possible until I can finally muster up the strength to call them out on it and say something. Sometimes, I feel mad and have to leave the situation for fear of what I might say. Other times, I feel overwhelmingly sad and alone.... Shamed. Shamed for wearing what seems like my grief, but is really my love. 

This article inspired this post. There is no 'closure'. It will always exist. My love for her is expressed through my grief. And I will always speak of her, just as you speak of the love of your children.