Siblings

Harlow was a very high needs baby. She knew what she wanted and wouldn't have it any other way right from the start. Although it has gotten easier since her newborn and baby days, there's still a challenge when she's really wanting (or not wanting) to do something, and she has a hard time communicating that. 

She is so funny and talks and talks (in her own language) and will go on full blown rants pointing her finger and everything. 

This passion and vocals, combined with being tired from her anti-sleep stance and around the clock lack of sleep, makes for a very emotional and loud toddler. 

People always wonder how the older kids 'are doing' or are 'handling' the arrival of their newest sibling. As my due date neared, I started entertaining that question that I had pushed to the back of my head my whole pregnancy. I hadn't even let myself begin to ponder what she would do, what she would think or how she would feel. Because quite frankly, I was worried. Harlow was our only baby here on earth- our rainbow and whole world. All of our attention was focused on her. Combine that with her already strong willed personality and I was anticipating a major jealous meltdown. 

Although we have many days where I'm looking at the clock for bedtime or chasing her down trying to keep her quiet when Hawkins is finally napping, I am surprised to say, aside from the terrible 2's which we've seemed to hit early, she has handled her brother's arrival great! If she has an issue, or wants some attention that she feels she's not getting, her attitude is directed towards us, not her brother. Which is what I think is most important. 

She has surprised me so much by being so loving, all on her own, right from the get go. She saw brother in the nicu and right away would say 'ooooh!!!' And then smile and laugh. She began giving him kisses the minute she could. 

Now that we're home, all she does is come up and give him kisses. She will be in the middle of playing, come over to give him a kiss, and then resume playing. Or when he's nursing, she'll come over and rub his head while smiling. She also has adopted the routine that after his morning diaper change, she wants to hold him. We'll finish at the changing table and she will drop whatever it is she's playing with, run to my feet and take a seat on the carpet with her hands stretched out. She'll give kisses, rub his head and pat his back while saying 'mwah!' 'ooooh!!!' Or 'baba' (brother). Then push him back to me and finish playing :) 

She'll even wake up to join me for one of his middle of the night feedings ;) 

My heart melts everytime I see that! I am so glad they are just 16 months apart and I have a feeling they'll be best friends :)

Hawkins @ 6 Weeks

Just like after Harlow was born, I have taken a small break from writing on the blog, because well, things are busy around this place with a toddler and a new baby :) 

Hawkins is now 6 weeks old! And he is doing fantastic! I know every child is different, so you can't really compare each of them with the things they do, the milestones they reach or how they respond to things. I have however noticed a few differences, that I'm not sure if it's just because he's a different person than Harlow, or if its because he's an IUGR baby. 

For example, Hawkins still cannot hold his head up much. I remember Harolw pretty much did right from the womb- she would hold her head up and stand on her 2 feet when we held her up on our legs. Hawke has a few moments of trying while I burp him upright against my chest, which I love that he's doing! But beyond that, he's stop very floppy. His pediatrician said that it seems normal considering he lacks some muscle tone with his size, so it's going to take a little extra time for him to do things like that. 

We've tried to have him do some tummy time a few times too :)

For the first 5 weeks, Hawkins slept a lot! Even at 5 weeks, he very much seemed like a fresh newborn. It seemed like all he did was sleep! 

The most time he would spend awake was maybe an hour total a day. This last week, he has made some strides to have more awake time and has started to become more engaging and interested in the world around him :)! 

The last 3 days, we have also had some differences in sleep patterns. He went from sleeping in 3 hour stretches at night, to waking up an hour and a half after being put down, wanting to nurse. I'm thinking he may be going through a growth spurt. Although I love that he's wanting to eat more to grow, this mommy would also love some more sleep ;)

It has been challenging having a toddler and a newborn. I expected it, but still nothing really prepares you until you're actually experiencing it yourself. I've found I have a much better attitude when I get a little bit of rest. I think the most exhausting part is the lack of sleep and constant 'go' that makes for very tiring days and nights. Somehow, each day ends and a new one begins everytime... So we're making it! 

I'm still trying to adjust and figure out the best routine with the both of them for our family. But once again, babies and kids are always changing and going through phases. The minute you feel like you have it figured out, they move on to a new phase, and you have to adapt and figure out the next thing that 'works' for that present time. 

I am so thankful Adam is such a hands on dad. Whenever he is home I feel so much more relaxed just knowing I have an extra set of hands and he is there to tend to one of them if I'm needing to be with one for something. Just knowing I don't have to juggle and pre plan everything, thinking 5 steps ahead all day, lets me breathe a little easier. 

He had his 1 month well visit (at 5 weeks though) and he now weighs 5.5 pounds and has grown 2 inches! We also found out he has a tongue tie :( We have the option of getting it clipped now, as the process and recovery are far easier because the skin is so very thin right now. However, that would hurt and in half the cases, it resolves itself organically and stretches with time. If there's any chance this will fix on its own, I don't want to put my sweet boy through any pain. If it needs to be done later, I figure we will cross that bridge when we get there. 

A very odd conversation with their pediatrician happened at the end of our visit, but I'm trying not to read too much into it. She said she would like us to go with Hawkins to a geneticist to have him checked out to see if there are any underlying issues or reasons for his IUGR. I asked if she thought something was wrong and she said "no, but given Lyla's history and now Hawkins IUGR, it does raise some questions. Looking at him... I know he looks the way he does because he's just so skinny. But I would feel better and I think you would have more peace of mind if you met with a geneticist." So here we are, again, being refered to someone and being thrust back into a place full of worry and fear. In my heart, I know he is fine, but can't help but start to fear something awful. We continue our prayers for this sweet boy- that he is okay and healthy, just small!

On that note, I've got to close out this post with a smile :)