It's a.. Boy!

I went in for my 16 week pre natal appointment 1 week early because I had been feeling so sick. I wanted to talk about the awful morning sickness I've been having as well as a random itching problem all over my arms and hands. I called to see if I could get my appointment moved up instead of having to go twice- this week and next, and they said okay. I was also getting the 2nd blood draw for my 1st trimester screening, so it was important the dates be correct. Luckily that day was the first day over the next 2 weeks that I was eligible for the blood draw, so they didn't have a problem moving my appointment up. At the end of the visit, they asked to do an ultrasound and I happily obliged. I asked if they were able to tell the gender yet and the tech said it just depended on how the baby was positioned, but that she would sneak a peak and see!
Almost right away she asked what I was wanting... I looked at the screen and saw it was clearly a boy... But went ahead and said, 'I'm wanting a girl'... And the tech confirmed it was in fact... a boy!
Not going to lie, I knew it was a boy. I had a feeling from the very beginning, especially since this pregnancy has just been SO different from my girls' pregnancies. Even though I was imagining having another girl again- them being just 17 months and one grade apart, sharing a room for when we had our next baby, reusing a lot of our basic clothes as well as keeping simple things like the pink boppy cover and basket liners... The idea of having a boy, is growing on me.
Back in high school I always said 'I want all boys'. After me and Adam got married, and I became pregnant, I expected to be having a boy and we had our boy name picked out at 6 weeks pregnant! That all changed for me when we found out it was a girl! I was so happy I cried. When we lost Lyla and I got pregnant with Harlow, I KNEW it was another girl AND that her name was going to be Harlow, at the 6 week appointment.
I said before how this pregnancy has been incredibly different for me. Both symptom wise- this boy's giving me a hard time :)- as well as getting my attention. Chasing a soon to be toddler has made this baby occupy my mind a lot less than when I was pregnant with Lyla and Harlow, and I know that just happens after you've had kids. But I did have a feeling it was a boy, even from the beginning.
Sometimes I wonder how good of a mom I'll be to a boy... All of their interests and 'roughness' and overall different demeanor when playing than girls do... I think of 'that boy' whose always getting into things he shouldn't, insists on wiping his dirty hands on his clean clothes, who runs wildly and doesn't listen, and destroys little girls Barbie's... I think of the 'annoying kid' who always seems to get on everyone's nerves and cause trouble.
Then... Im in a restaurant, looking over at the table next to me at a 7 year old boy who's dressed cute, wearing a fedora hat, eating his meal quietly with one hand in his lap, using his napkin and talking and laughing while eating his whole meal.
I think of my nephew, who's sandwiched between 2 sisters, and is the biggest cuddle bug- always wanting to snuggle with mommy and his blanket after his nap everyday.
I think of the influence a mother has over her son, and the power that I'll have to help guide and shape him into the husband and father he'll one day become. I think of all the things not only I can teach him and raise him to be, but all of the things he'll experience with his sister, and watch his sister experience, that will shape the way he views women and the proper way to treat them.
I think of the great responsibility, as well as the incredible opportunity I'll have in raising a son. Raising a God-fearing leader, respectable man who I can confidently send out into the world, trusting he'll make a difference, touch the lives of those around him, and ultimately, become a Christian leader who will make a great husband and father for his own family one day. I am truley blessed.